Thursday, November 11, 2010

double eleven.

veterans' day.
rememberance day.
call it what you will,
it's the date that's important.
it's eleven eleven all day long.
and that means double the hottness,
for all your collective faces.

and not just one,
but two blocks of printed postal pleasure.
for free.
from us,
to you.
just because we turn it up to eleven,
and so does today...
so give us your addresses,
and open your mail boxes.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

never forget...

about the loud fresh hardness.
...for your face.
and these flaming hot art prints.
...for your wallspaces.
awfully delightful?
we'd like to think so.
just $11, shipping included
and that's just a tempting little teaser
of the big things to come, kids.
we're stepping up our game over here,
and making sure that we've got a tasty new
autumny line of art and articles for all of you guys.
that takes time, but trust us,
a little bit of patience will get you a lot of hot.
before the end of the month,
maybe even by the equinox,
we'll be unleashing a whole new slew of hottness.
more, and more, and more.
on a scale of one-to-ten,
we're still bangin' right off of the meter,
to eleven,
red-lining our revved-up creation stations,
and bringing you guys more of what you need.
on to more important matters.
be the eleventh person to order a print,
and we'll send you the framed original
of that crisp lined-up acorn-skull.
on the house.
you read that right;
the framed original.
that's even more limited than 'limited edition'.
it's one of a kind.
and we'll give it you.
because we know you like it,
and we appreciate you.
it's true.
never quiet, never soft, indeed.
on the elevens, friends.
(and the 22nd is a doubled-up date by our math)
we'll see you again on the equinox...
now stop reading and start ordering.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

a button for buttons.

ok, we just put up a paypal button in the merch section,
so you can now easily send us your 5 bucks for the button packs.
we're going to miss some of the more creative ways people sent us money, though.
snail mail with lincoln rocking an antlered meat grinder party hat?
oh man, thanks for putting in that extra effort,
and taking that five right to eleven.
but for all of you that didn't figure out alternative ways of sending payment,
we just made it easy for you.
now go and get it.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

panic? buttons!

now we're getting somewhere after all.
loud, fresh, and hard.
at the same time.
the wait is over,
the eagle has landed,
the crow flies at midnight,
or whatever other coded password you'd prefer;
the point is:
they're here,
they're dope,
and you absolutely must order some.
we weren't joking-
only $5?
if the semi-live flowers and that epic lobster claw haven't convinced you,
and the added hottness of FREE STICKERS doesn't move you,
you might possibly not have any taste except on your tongue.
we mean it.
there's so much flavor on that cardstock backdrop,
the pins are almost overkill.
our hands have teeth,
but yours have opposable thumbs instead.
use 'em to click up some buttons, kids.
and then use 'em to fasten those dots of pure hot on all your sweaters.
you needed perfect wardrobe accessories,
we've provided them.
you're welcome.
never quiet, never soft.....

Friday, August 13, 2010

Buttoned Up

Friday the 13th, kids.

Here's the sneak peak of the 5 pack of button hotness.
"Sneak peak" is code for "crappy photo taken by the button factory",
since they aren't in our hands yet.
(you know we do better photos than that)
But they are now boxed up, and on their way to us,
which means they are about to be on their way to you.

We covered it all.
We got a LOUD, a HARD, a FRESH, an XI, and of course a NeverQuietNeverSoft.
And we knew you needed all five,
so it's all coming at you attached to the sexiness still-life ever set up.
Does it feature a tuba?
Of course it does!

Five buttons for five bucks.
~shipping included~
And we'll be throwing in some stickers for free.
Limited to just one hundred,
so get them while they're here.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

sticky situations.

here we go again.
august eleventh.
that means more new treats,
from us to you.
today is the day.
yes, the eleventh,
but also a day of irony.
and excellence.
reading is inherently a silent and gentle activity...
...but stickers on the other hand;
stickers are a form of blaring advertisement.
i mean,
there are almost always times when letting folks know what's up
would be better served by adhesive hottness.
we've got a little something for you:
loud and hard and fresh.
...for your faces.
just to let less aware kids out there know what's up.
never quiet never soft.
there was supposed to be even more special paraphernalia.
there's always supposed to be more.
as usual,
we picked the harder way-
off-sized, limited edition, secret treasures that just don't come
with pre-packaged on-time delivery convenience.
you know how it goes;
had we settled for only turning it up to ten,
they'd be here for y'all already.
(we took it to eleven, and caught a jinx)
it happens,
but we aren't letting our unluckiness hold sway on today.
in fact, friday the thirteenth is the scheduled arrival date.
even production woes can't all-the-way rain on our parades.
now we've also got friday the 13th in our sights this month,
AND a whole other set of treats.
is that a double release?
it sure is.
...all the way to eleven.
check back on friday, and you'll see.
in the meantime,
here's two brand-spanking-new stickers.
you need a stack of each.
and we need photos of the things you stick 'em on.
wherever you are,
we want to see what you've deemed loud/hard.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

the throwbacks.

have you ever noticed how nicely elevens and sevens go together?
like dicey craps games, gallon-sized slurpees,
and of course, lucky numbers-
have you checked your calendars?
it's 7-11, today, all day,
and it IS your lucky day;
we've got some very fresh,
very loud,
very hard hottness for your faces.
yes. we do.
the designs we've heard the most about,
directly from our creative juice vaults,
to you:
you want one.
you need one.
for goodness' sake, you've got to have one.

both guys and girls shirts share the same back design:

once our inventory gets sorted out,
there will be purchase buttons for you to click.
more shirts after being sold out?
lucky you.


Monday, June 14, 2010

number eleven.

we have a winner.
they are SO in order.
but, to whom?
and for what?

TO the undoubtedly lovely and unquestionably deserving ms. holly smalley.
FOR being the eleventh person to sign up
and follow the comings, goings, and doings of this site.
(consider it a door prize. we've been keeping score)
we are indeed very pleased to let everyone know
that ms. smalley is due to be awarded
and rewarded with some very special swag,
a gift of gratitude and appreciation from all of us here
at the loud fresh hardness that is
never quiet, never soft.
we're putting together a little something just to say 'thanks'.
because that's just how we do things around here.
we told you so.
-on the elevens.
...exactly like we said.
we'd give you a sneak peek,
but we'd hate to ruin the surprise.
(pictures later, pomp and circumstance now)

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Ordering Screw-up

Well, aren't WE embarrassed.
Some of the early birds who bought shirts
went ahead and completed their order
even though the shipping was marked at $10.
What are we, a-holes?
Probably, but we're not in this to take all your dollars.
We fixed the Paypal mix-up.
The shirts are priced at $11,
and the shipping is back to being a reasonable $3.
That's a grand total of $14
including delivery right to your face.
If the other price scared you off,
it's fixed and ready for your order.
If it didn't, and you paid it anyway,
you have a refund waiting for you.

Our sincerest apologies.
Forgive us, we're just seven hours old.

Friday, June 11, 2010


Never Quiet, Never Soft now has an online home!

And to kick things off right,
we're releasing brand new shirts.
They can be purchased in the merch section to the right,
or click here.
$11 each for a limited time.
Any style, any size, just eleven bucks.

New stuff will be released every month.
Same day, same place.

this is it.

you like the loud fresh hardness?
yeah, we do, too.
and it's all right here, just for you.
the result of two unusual art-makers joining forces,
with the aim of creating something even more unusual.
combining elements from two disparate visual lexicons,
to make a third, unique, albeit more difficultly decipherable, language.
...and what do we do when we aren't being understood?
talk louder, obviously.
that, friends, is what we do best.
loud fresh hardness, as mentioned earlier.
so prepare to be pummeled into comprehension.
even without a translator.
the iconography stands on it's own salty sealegs.
or is it tentacles?
or should that be taxidermied paws?
or maybe all of the above?
two individuals,
two separate signature sets of symbolisms-
lighthouses are sexy;
so are dead birds;
antlers are the answer;
my hands have teeth;
we choose the wrench over all other available tools;
hot fire, lightning, bones, and wheat are also acceptable ingredients;
acorns may be what it's ALL about.
and, indeed,
it is probable that what sounds at first like a stampeding elephant
is, in fact, an F*ng tuba.
overlaps and undertones abound,
and that's what makes it all work.
that there will be more of this,
that much is certain.
it's evolution.
it's nature.
it's what we do.
never quiet, never soft.
that's how we live it,
it's how we make it.
we hope you enjoy this first release.
grab a shirt, hell, grab a couple-
every month, on the elevens,
there will be new stuff...for your face.
thanks for stopping by,
we'll see you again soon.